"" FutureLint (I have nothing to wear!): let's play with Google Analytics!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

let's play with Google Analytics!

Ok, so in like January or so I finally set up Google Analytics for my blog. I love it. My favorite part is where it shows how people got to my blog. Some came on their own because they know how awesome I am, some came by a link off someone else's slighty less awesome blog, and some came here through the magic of searching Google. Oh how I love all the beautiful little weirdos out there. In the spirit of that, here are some of my favorite search terms (Am I pretty much ripping off Winona and Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey? Yes ma'am.)


crap i have nothing to wear to work tomorrow, can't figure out what to wear to school tomorrow , "nothing to wear" t shirts , going to my friend's house! have nothing to wear? , i have got nothing to wear , i have nothing in my wardrobe , i have nothing in my wardrobe what can i wear to party , i have nothing to wear and no money, any ideas? , i have nothing to wear help me find an outfit , mondays blues, nothing to wear , oh no i've nothing to wear, and my TOTAL FAVORITE OUT OF THESE, nothing to wear very hot boobs too
Ummmm, there are like 100 variations of people wanting to know what to wear when they have nothing to wear... maybe I should actually address this problem and do a post on this topic... I've let you all down :(

tranny cruise
Hmm, if these actually exist, I'm THERE!

im itchy
When I was itchy, it was due to Vicodin, so maybe you should sit around looking at style.com and critiquing designers

nothing but lint blogspot
close, but clearly you are looking for an inferior blog, I would never wear "nothing but lint" and neither should you

"five ants" tattoos

yep. got 'em. on my foot.

"fu h1n1"
really? someone was looking for that exact thing?!

"investors in sunglasses"
I only rock the cheap ones. And the thrifted ones. I also don't think you should invest all your money in Sunglasses Hut. Maybe a nice tropical beach hut instead?

"like what you like"

Always a good idea, I hate it when I like things I hate.

"not bad" boots
My boots are more than "not bad", they are amazing, epic, legendary, and well, good.

adam sandler lunch lady inspiration
Yeah, I rock a lunch lady dress sometimes.

awesome worthless advice
Are you looking for that Baz Luhrmann sunscreen song? Cause that is full of awesome yet worthless advice.

boyfriend makes me wear sunglasses when we go out
Is this out of concern for your vision and your eye's exposure to UV rays or is he just a dick? Either way your boyfriend can not "make" you do anything, so I suggest you don't "make" yourself listen to a douchebag. "Make" yourself a cocktail, then "make" like a tree and leave.

cute outfits to wear in vegas
no. such. thing. Skanky? Trashy? Like you just rolled off the couch in a trailer? Yes. Cute? No.

fancy pants adventure coolstuff.gr
I don't know what this is, but it sounds pretty neat. I hope you found your way there.

free science experiments
My favorite as a kid was one involving making your own rock candy. Big jar of dissolved sugar + string + time = science candy. Deliciously smart.

futurelint.blogpot.com
I do not blog about pot. Or on pot. Or about pots. But I guess the same is also true about spots.

how do you wear boring shirt
You don't. Use that boring shirt to clean out your bird cage and go buy a shirt that is chock full of excitement. Buckle up.

how to have a quirky style
Be born me. Wear quirky things. Repeat for 27 years. Boom.

i take my ice love with you
What? Are you in love with a yeti?

i wear too many necklaces
Yeah, some days, I do too. It's okay though, I think it's a fine look and an easy way to add interest to a boring outfit. However, I usually just wear this one every day.

my elbow exploded
I am hoping yours exploded like mine exploded, and there was not some sort of a firework incident.

pardon me do you have any cheap yellow mustard
No, no I do not. Mustard is the worst condiment ever. I do have a lot of cheap mustard colored clothes. You may not borrow them or put them on hot dogs.

pretty granny tranny
Yes, yes I am.

puke in boot and wear
I do not in any way endorse this activity. I think it will smell. Bad.

poto poto five minutes
I will not "poto poto" for any minutes until you tell me what it is! And where that word appeared on my blog!

the 2009 has been the year
the yes the it the has!

the important stuff about ice cream
Um, that it's tasty, that it's cold, that it's a dairy product, that it's not a very nutritious breakfast, and that if I eat more than a few spoonfuls I want to die.

what to wear to circus
I think the style at the circus is pretty laid back, I think you're fine going with a t-shirt and jeans. Especially if you're gonna ride the elephants before the show. I do love to dress like the ringmaster though! See? See?

what to wear to the woods
A waterproof jacket, layers and bug spray?

what to wear to see fiddler on the roof

A yarmulke? I wore the outfit on the right. Say hi to Topol for me!


And finally, GOOGLE ANALYTICS, WHY DO YOU HATE ME?


my boyfriend is amazing and i feel like i have nothing

im shallow worthless and have no life

Really Google? Really?

8 comments:

Mary said...

Thank you for making me laugh for a good ten minutes-- this is fantastic!

undergradfab.blogspot.com

Kimberly said...

Holy crap, this made me laugh out loud LOUDLY!!! No joke, one of my co-workers just stuck his head in my office to ask what was so funny. I'm now going to go check out my Google Analytics better! Thanks for the witty writing!

Sal said...

HAHAHAHA! I don't know if the search terms are funnier or if you are. OK no wait I do know, you win.

Additionally, will you be Art-a-Whirling this weekend at all? I'ma be in Mike's studio Saturday and would love to meet yo ass!

Sher said...

That was so funny :D.

Eyeliah SS said...

hehehehehee, so good.

elena-lu said...

dude i totally laughed out loud! that was too too fuuny! haha that was good! thank you for that :)

futurelint said...

Sal - I haven't been to Art-a-Whirl in YEARS! Which is sad and pathetic on my part! I've got to waitress on Sat and baseball on Sunday, but if it rains either day, I'm there! Where is his studio?

merlie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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