Never gonna get it (cue EnVogue)

This whole etsy thrifting venture is blowing up in my face... yeah, I've sold a few things... yeah, I have a lot more stuff to photograph, measure, and post... but I wind up keeping MORE STUFF. One of the points was to clean out my stuffed closets. Anyway, since it was bound to happen, here are a few of the things I can't bear to sell...

The little boys fringed suede vest from Mexico ($2 at a thrift store!) Ok, it doesn't really fit over my boobs but COME ON, it's adorable.


I also can't give up the granny-ish shoes. I don't know why I like them, but I just do.

I mean, they are from Talbots for goodness sakes! The ultimate preppy grandma store (One of my gay boyfriends does call me "The Granny Tranny" sometimes for dressing like an old lady/tranny combo at times.)

This weird little shirt which it is too hot to wear now, but I will rock it come fall. It's SUPER thin jersey, with a thick elasticy waist and arm cuffs. There is also a tiny bow up by the neckline. $2 CUTE!

Very granny tranny.
This little maroon vaguely Asian top (am I paranoid that those little characters are saying something nasty about me? a little.) This was a big $3 and once again, I cannot close it due to my exorbitantly large boobs, but I don't like mandarin collars on me when they are closed anyway.

I just got that belt for $2 and I love it! It is white, wide, elastic, and has a huge brown buckle in front. LOVE! I also got that skirt at a thrift store, but it is just Isaac Mizrahi for Target, but I love it's fake wood grain pattern. I am a little obsessed with fake and real wood grain. Anywhoo, that is all for now, but that is not all I have kept. There was also the little brown '40s or '50 dress, the little blue suitcase, and a ruffly shirt I may wind up selling. But in the mean time, I put up a few pairs of shoes I was tempted to keep (including these awesome navy blue sandals)

I will post some more new stuff in the shop soon. Time to go running for the first time in like 10 days!

let's play with Google Analytics!

Ok, so in like January or so I finally set up Google Analytics for my blog. I love it. My favorite part is where it shows how people got to my blog. Some came on their own because they know how awesome I am, some came by a link off someone else's slighty less awesome blog, and some came here through the magic of searching Google. Oh how I love all the beautiful little weirdos out there. In the spirit of that, here are some of my favorite search terms (Am I pretty much ripping off Winona and Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey? Yes ma'am.)


crap i have nothing to wear to work tomorrow, can't figure out what to wear to school tomorrow , "nothing to wear" t shirts , going to my friend's house! have nothing to wear? , i have got nothing to wear , i have nothing in my wardrobe , i have nothing in my wardrobe what can i wear to party , i have nothing to wear and no money, any ideas? , i have nothing to wear help me find an outfit , mondays blues, nothing to wear , oh no i've nothing to wear, and my TOTAL FAVORITE OUT OF THESE, nothing to wear very hot boobs too
Ummmm, there are like 100 variations of people wanting to know what to wear when they have nothing to wear... maybe I should actually address this problem and do a post on this topic... I've let you all down :(

tranny cruise
Hmm, if these actually exist, I'm THERE!

im itchy
When I was itchy, it was due to Vicodin, so maybe you should sit around looking at style.com and critiquing designers

nothing but lint blogspot
close, but clearly you are looking for an inferior blog, I would never wear "nothing but lint" and neither should you

"five ants" tattoos
yep. got 'em. on my foot.

"fu h1n1"
really? someone was looking for that exact thing?!

"investors in sunglasses"
I only rock the cheap ones. And the thrifted ones. I also don't think you should invest all your money in Sunglasses Hut. Maybe a nice tropical beach hut instead?

"like what you like"
Always a good idea, I hate it when I like things I hate.

"not bad" boots
My boots are more than "not bad", they are amazing, epic, legendary, and well, good.

adam sandler lunch lady inspiration
Yeah, I rock a lunch lady dress sometimes.

awesome worthless advice
Are you looking for that Baz Luhrmann sunscreen song? Cause that is full of awesome yet worthless advice.

boyfriend makes me wear sunglasses when we go out
Is this out of concern for your vision and your eye's exposure to UV rays or is he just a dick? Either way your boyfriend can not "make" you do anything, so I suggest you don't "make" yourself listen to a douchebag. "Make" yourself a cocktail, then "make" like a tree and leave.

cute outfits to wear in vegas
no. such. thing. Skanky? Trashy? Like you just rolled off the couch in a trailer? Yes. Cute? No.

fancy pants adventure coolstuff.gr
I don't know what this is, but it sounds pretty neat. I hope you found your way there.

free science experiments
My favorite as a kid was one involving making your own rock candy. Big jar of dissolved sugar + string + time = science candy. Deliciously smart.

futurelint.blogpot.com
I do not blog about pot. Or on pot. Or about pots. But I guess the same is also true about spots.

how do you wear boring shirt
You don't. Use that boring shirt to clean out your bird cage and go buy a shirt that is chock full of excitement. Buckle up.

how to have a quirky style
Be born me. Wear quirky things. Repeat for 27 years. Boom.

i take my ice love with you
What? Are you in love with a yeti?

i wear too many necklaces
Yeah, some days, I do too. It's okay though, I think it's a fine look and an easy way to add interest to a boring outfit. However, I usually just wear this one every day.

my elbow exploded
I am hoping yours exploded like mine exploded, and there was not some sort of a firework incident.

pardon me do you have any cheap yellow mustard
No, no I do not. Mustard is the worst condiment ever. I do have a lot of cheap mustard colored clothes. You may not borrow them or put them on hot dogs.

pretty granny tranny
Yes, yes I am.

puke in boot and wear
I do not in any way endorse this activity. I think it will smell. Bad.

poto poto five minutes
I will not "poto poto" for any minutes until you tell me what it is! And where that word appeared on my blog!

the 2009 has been the year
the yes the it the has!

the important stuff about ice cream
Um, that it's tasty, that it's cold, that it's a dairy product, that it's not a very nutritious breakfast, and that if I eat more than a few spoonfuls I want to die.

what to wear to circus
I think the style at the circus is pretty laid back, I think you're fine going with a t-shirt and jeans. Especially if you're gonna ride the elephants before the show. I do love to dress like the ringmaster though! See? See?

what to wear to the woods
A waterproof jacket, layers and bug spray?

what to wear to see fiddler on the roof
A yarmulke? I wore the outfit on the right. Say hi to Topol for me!


And finally, GOOGLE ANALYTICS, WHY DO YOU HATE ME?


my boyfriend is amazing and i feel like i have nothing

im shallow worthless and have no life

Really Google? Really?

Granny Tranny cruise-wear

What do I look like with my hair down? THIS! I rarely wear it down... it's just frizzy and crazy and I look like Little Orphan Annie and it's always in my face and gets nuts when it's windy and I got used to always wearing it up when I worked with disabled kids cause they liked to pull it and I just like it out of my face and etc, etc, etc. Anyway, here is the outfit I wore to the Twins game last night. Awesome baseball, good times. I'm off to bartend! oh, P.S. I just gave myself this haircut yesterday, so it's still a little nuts, but this is pretty much what my hair looks like, and you won't see it down again for like six months I'm sure...

Fancy pants

"Nurse Fancy Pants"... that is my new name at school. It's pretty fitting (my other two nicknames having come from gay gentlemen, they are "Granny Tranny" and "One Woman Parade"), so they all have a similar theme to them... which is I guess that my style can be described as costumes more so than outfits, at least sometimes. Now that I've been working here since September, I have been taking more risks in my attire. I didn't want to show up the first week dressed like a nut, so I took it easy for a while, but now, psht, I'm all over the place!

Monday, I wore my new crocheted cowl and ugly tie-dyed tank...

Neck cowl - crocheted by me!
Cardigan - Fake Target
Tank - thrifted
Necklace - thrifted
Pants - thrifted Express
Shoes - Doc Martins

Tuesday, I accidentally dressed like a panda. or penguin...

Black dress - thrifted Patrick Robinson for Target
White shirt - Target
Shorts - Target
Tights - TJ Maxx
Shoes - ebay

And today all the kids keep asking why I dressed like a "Chinese Woman". Really, I'm just wearing a robe as a dress with pants. No biggie.

Kimono/robe thing - thrifted
Belt - thrifted
Jeans - Earnest Sewn
Shoes - Bongo (TJ Maxx clearance)

Plus next week is "Spirit Week" where the kids don't have to wear uniforms and there are theme days:

*Monday - Pajama Day 

*Tuesday - Twins Day (dress alike with a friend) 

*Wednesday - '80s Day 

*Thursday - Swagger Day (as in, dress up fancy) 

*Friday - Class Color day (since I don't have a grade, I think I'll just wear EVERY color)

I'm pretty excited and so are the kids. I'm curious to see some six year olds dressed in '80s clothes.

Oooh, my big yellow scarf is coming along nicely, and I should have a picture of the finished product later this week. I also made a ruffled scarf out of orange jersey, I'll wear it soon so you can see it. It's pretty awesome in a garish way. And yay, got a few more orders on my etsy! In other words, life is good, even though I want to strangle the boy for being messy and lazy and forgetful... but he is an artist, so what did I expect? We'll see, he may live to see another day. Laterz.