"" FutureLint (I have nothing to wear!): Let's play with Google Analytics (part deux)

Friday, January 15, 2010

Let's play with Google Analytics (part deux)

If you don't know what that means, go here for enlightenment. I've been meaning to do this for, like, ever...

i got nothing in heaven
Hmm, well apparently you have Google in heaven, so you know, there's that.

sore puffy "red elbow"
Ugh, don't remind me... mine is crazy hurting again, but I have an appointment with an orthopedist at 7:40am on Monday (which I stupidly scheduled SO EARLY on my DAY OFF)

vintage italian silk pegasus vest

Yep, I got it and you can't have it... mythical beast, mythical vest

what to wear for yodeling
this? or this?

cliff diving and wearing a cup
This is SO OUT OF THE REALM OF MY KNOWLEDGE IT'S INSANE. Google, how did you point this person to my blog and why do you hate them so much?

did ginger from gilligan's island wear anything but a dress?
I don't think so?? I know she wouldn't have dared to try to pull off shorts, standing next to Mary Ann, that would just be pathetic.

facts about people who don't have nothing to wear
They are probably nudists or indigenous peoples?

help me im being killed
Um, I would go with 911 over Google for this one. Really hope you survived.

hates packing
Don't we all? Grrr... maybe if I had these suitcases I would like it more?

i have nothing to wear to rave
Really? People still go to raves? Please stop raving.

i like wearing dresses and im a boy
Cool. Thanks for letting me know... is it hard to find ones where the bust isn't all saggy and sad?

i'd rather be riding my bike
Me too... spring can't come soon enough!

i'm a spaz
Geek, Dweeb, or Spaz? (Does ANYONE get that reference?)

i'm being killed

is kate spade still cool
YES! YES! Although I don't know if cool is the right word for it, it's too precious to be cool...

knocking on heaven's door sexy nurse
What in the world do these two things have in common? Really? Please go away.

modest body paint halloween
MODEST BODY PAINT... you sit in the corner and think about what you just said and when you are ready to admit your mistake, you can rejoin society.

permanent ankle chains
would probably be a bad idea...

sexy camping wear
also a bad idea, coverage is key, mosquito bites are decidedly unsexxxy

totally obsessed with this girl that likes me
i do not, in fact, like you. Please stop obsessing.

what does it say about a person: fake lint picking
WHAT? like someone picks a piece of lint off your sweater, but the lint isn't actually there? Again, I am confused? This is a real problem?

how to look gorgeous for a guy when you have nothing to wear?
I am a huge fan of white t-shirt, black skirt. So simple and elegant (provided you own a perfect white t-shirt, sans stains.)

how to wear military inspired jackets
here's a few of mine!

knocking on heavens door o baby i'm 90's
I do love me some '90s... but that song is waaay older than that... I'm sure there were a few shitty covers of it made during the '90s though.

make the boy wear a dress
I used to do this to my little bro all the time... got the photos to prove it but won't put them here... although I don't know if "make" is the right word, he seemed pretty in to it at the time (you know, being like four and all)

making maude lebowski's viking outfit
I did it! Make sure you don't lose a digit while sawing the plastic bowling balls in half, otherwise it's easy! Plus, now I can wear the hat while watching the Minnesota Vikings football games to be super obnoxious!

matador vest
Looooove mine, go get one!

maxi dress gross
Not true, you're gross, gross-face.

nothing on heavens store
Hmm, I never thought about heaven having stores... clearly they will kick ass, everything will fit perfect, and all of it is freeeee!

redhead skirt
No, sorry Mr. Margiela. Not gonna sell you my hair to make a skirt.

sally peanuts pink polka dot dress
Yeah, Sally Brown, Charlie Brown's little sister - she wore a pink polka dot dress? You want to make something of it? On an unrelated note, it would be pretty cool if your name was Sally Peanuts.

I hope this isn't real. I'm scared to check.

volunteer guilt
Yeah, I felt pretty guilty about the things I have when I came back from volunteering in a Dominican orphanage... it's not a bad thing... it really makes you grateful for all the little things in life that are really huge in reality (constant access to safe drinking water = amazing!)

walgreens poofy skirt
I'm pretty sure Walgreens only sells crazy t-shirts with graphics of wolves and I don't know, a horse running through a stream? And fake Crocs... but poofy skirts? I don't think so.

"i have nothing to wear" sjp
I'm pretty sure Sarah Jessica Parker has never had "nothing to wear." In fact, I suspect her closet is just a wormhole into the Vogue closet.

"minneapolis is the best city"

everything is hilarious
I know! Sometimes I think of really funny things when I'm driving and then I just look nuts to the max, giggling alone in the car!

jobs for ladies to have nothing on
Hardcore stripping? Waitress at a nudist colony?

no dress partygirl
Tara Reid?

something from nothing science experiments

the mayors of sexytown
MayorS? Plural? I share the title with no one.

cutest baseball players
Hmmm, little known player, but I'm gonna go with Kevin Slowey (he's a pitcher for the Twins and I never really thought much about him until I saw him at the season kickoff last year in an oxford shirt and crew neck sweater. Ok, maybe he can be co-mayor of sexytown.) Honorable mentions: Denard Span, Joe Mauer

can i wear a dress to school on my birthday
Sure! Why not? Why are you Googling this?

crazy fan wearing nothing
Oooh, a streaker! How exciting! I've never seen one in real life! Are you sure he wasn't wearing a flesh toned body suit like George Costanza?

cute sexy creative rave outfit
Gross. And no such thing.

do guys like daisy duke outfit
Most of them, probably.

a cute tiger pajama birthday cake
I am pro-cutetigerpajamabirthdaycake. Wait? Tigers in pajamas? Girl, you crazy.

wierdly cute things
Thank you Google! Here's two weirdly cute things:


The Closet of Kim (ShopKim) said...

These were hysterical! Perfect for Friday afternoon reading. I'll have to check mine to see if there's anything good.

Katrina said...

Wow, I did not realize you had no less than four military jackets! You are like, the queen of them!

And this was hilarious, thanks for a cheery friday read.

Kimberly said...

I absolutely adore it when you do this!! I cracked up the entire way through reading it!

elena-lu said...

i love it when you did the last one! this one is too too funny as well! heehee i have no idea about mine

Jess said...


Oh google, you bring us all such joy!

Also, you have the most delightful assortment of wacky clothing ever.

Miranda said...

So very funny

wardrobeexperience said...

beautiful mythical vest, amazing mythical outfit!

enterrement vie de jeune fille said...

Your hair are gorgeous, I wish mine were the same.

evjf said...

C'est fin c'est fin ├ža ce lit sans fin. LOL


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