DAY OFF! Survived my nutso week! So, I rewarded myself with a trip to the "Fake Target". What is this Fake Target? Ok, so the Target headquarters is in MPLS (that's the hip way to spell Minneapolis for you people not from Minnesota). They take all the samples from Target as well as anything that's been on sale and didn't sell and donate it to one Salvation Army. It has SPOILED me. Here's me at regular Target "TWENTY DOLLARS FOR A SWEATER, hell to the NO." And then I go to Fake Target and get it for four dollars. And when I buy sample stuff, I can have it before it even is on shelves at Target. Want to know what the new GO International collection is? yeah, I already bought some of the samples.
So first I dragged my bags of stuff to donate out to the car. I've had these bags cluttering up my closet for like two months. I get there and it's "oh, hai, guy with a tattooed face. Yes, you can help me unload all these bags! Do I want a receipt? Sure, tax rebate! Good luck sir, and did I mention what a fetching tattoo that is all over your face?" Is this a different guy than the one with the tattooed face who works at the Goodwill Outlet store and fights off the old ladies? Yes. Anyway, back to Fake Target, there is SO much stuff there. I was seriously angry because this one dress was SEVEN DOLLARS (ok, but then I realized it was a Richard Chai for Target dress and forked over the cash). Seriously, it's so cheap, I just randomly throw things in the cart. Garish orange sweater? Yes. Little boys plaid shorts? Sure. Maternity dress? Why not! Size zero dress? Hmmm, I can lose weight right? It is AMAZING. And if you aren't ready to leave behind your boyfriend and cat and move to Minneapolis right now, I will tempt you once more... SOMETIMES they get stuff from J. Crew. JAWS! So, if you are lucky enough to live in MPLS, get there now, cause someone needs to buy this stuff so I don't! And when you get there, if you see a girl standing in the aisle holding a maternity dress in one hand and a tiny size zero dress in the other, deep in contemplation, say hi to me and tell me neither one is worth it.