"" FutureLint (I have nothing to wear!): Let's Play with Google Analytics (Genus IV)

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Let's Play with Google Analytics (Genus IV)

If you don't know what that means, go here for enlightenment.

i m wearing a leather skirt
Good for you! I've only worn one once, but I just bought a kelly green one at the thrift store, but I probably won't wear it till fall.

minnesota twins "vintage jacket" 
This one is not funny on it's own. But I think it's pretty funny that the person looking for this jacket then spent 1 hour and 18 minutes on my blog and looked at 23 pages of content. I'm riveting!

Thanks Google. Really.

"satin pants"   
Are one of the few things I don't own...thankyouverymuch

90s cruise wear
I think any of the original cast of 90210 can help you there, living in California is like living on a giant cruise ship, yes? Just substitute a one-piece swimsuit for whenever they are wearing a bodysuit and I think you've adapted the look for the high seas.

asian granny
I am not.

deadly bunny shirt
Why does everyone I've barely met ask me to make custom shirts? Now I know what graphic designers are talking about when they say 90% of the "jobs" offered are actually just favors...
diy tick shoe
Don't make shoes out of ticks... please? Lyme Disease is serious business, don't you remember the Real World Seattle? Lyme Disease made Irene a bitch.

do you ever feel like you have nothing to wear
Constantly. Then I tell myself to grown up and start digging in the back of the closet.

does micheal cuddyer wear a necklace
Hmm, he wasn't when I met him... if he does I'll try to dissuade him from doing so next time we are, you know, hanging out.

girliest things to wear
I'm gonna go with poofy wedding dress with a crown.

google wear
No Google, I will not plaster your name across my clothes so just stop trying!

how much do geek glasses cost for blind people
Um, what? I guess if blind hipsters want some Buddy Holly frames, well, more power to them.

how should i dress for future day with clothes that i already have?
Is "future day" a dress up day for like Homecoming week at your school? Seems to me that in most depictions of the future people are wearing silver and jumsuits. So... this? You own this, yes?

how to dress a tiger
Legally, I cannot encourage you to try to put clothes on a tiger. Off the record - I think a sailor suit would be cute though.

how to get rid of the lint in my room
Please, someone get on this one... Martha Stewart? Science? It's not necessarily lint, but like dust, dust bunnies... now that I have hardwood floors I see how much shit seeps into your carpet every day and it is gross. However, I'm also really tired of sweeping every two days. Someone, get me some sort of lint lazer? I'm seriously considering just buying a Roomba. DJ Roomba. God help me.

how to love a boyscout
This is only appropriate if you are said boyscout's parental unit or you are also of boy/girl scout age... we don't need none of this on my blog:

how to make a fab oolala rave dress
I feel like ravers enjoy three things: bright colors, soft things, and lasers. So make a dress out of sequined neon velvet. Done.

how to use a bidet
I have never used one... they scare the bejeezus out of me!

how to wear yellow rodarte target skirt
Here is how I wore mine:
Perhaps I'll wear it again this week!

i have nothing green to wear for st patrick's
That's fine... I wore orange, which was apparently a somewhat political statement... but no one cared.

i wear a rubberband to remember
Remember what? That you love rubberbands?

it 10 in the morning and i have nothing to do
This person stayed on my site for 8 minutes... glad to have helped you pass part of your day!

jokes about having nothing to wear
This is very serious business. Jokes would be tasteless.

kurt von icker
I don't know who that is! Sorry! Googling him turned up nothing, perhaps you could name something that? Like your pet or car?

Nice terminology! Dolly approves!
men wearing nightgowns
Nightgowns in general suck... I wore them as a kid and I remember waking up all twisted up in them and feeling very constricted... also they were itchy thick wool? but I remember one had Lazy from the Smurfs on it so, you know, it wasn't all bad.

my dentist says you don't have to wear rubber bands anymore?
Thank your dentist for me. Then tell him I never wore rubber bands anyway. Rebel, rebel.

necklace made out of lint
Sounds grooooooosss. I am all for recycling though, so you are welcome to try it!

tobias funke sweater
If I knew how to knit better I would make you one... preferably one where he is looking like this:

what do people who work at bojangles wear
Is bojangles a place? Will you take me there? Will you buy me a jangle?

what to wear when it's cold outside to a bar
I'm gonna go with coat... or jacket, yeah jacket. No, coat, coat's better.

world cup proper outfit to wear
Sporting events have pretty lax dress codes... I'd dress as a football hooligan though, then go join in a rioooooooot!

www.villager prissing boob
No comment. Stop Googling nonsense.

"glasses now" or "glasses since" or "contacts now" or "contacts since" or "contact lenses now" or "contact lenses since" -"3d" site:blogspot.com
Oh my, you're a spammer, aren't you? Go away, nowz.

what episode does go minam get wet with a toilet
I met a girl named Minam in Korea. Here we are at dinner! I assure you she did not get wet with a toilet while I was with her.

little orphan annie ladies nighty
Ick! You're a perv! You don't bang Little Orphan Annie!

"angus young"+cheerios
Occasionally these two clash in my kitchen, if I am listening to the radio while eating breakfast.

girliest boy is me
Hooray! Did you get a crown? Sash? Scepter?

tromp l'oeiel screen printing
Guh... I know, I know, I'll get on it but some of us have too many jobs and hobbies and obligations to cater to your whims in a timely manner... I'll do it eventually though. I swear. By the moon and the stars and the sun.


LyddieGal said...

Hahah wonderful commentary! It's crazy to think how these searches are ending up at your blog and wondering who the hell is reading it!

Chic on the Cheap

Kimberley said...

This post made me laugh a whole heck of a lot. Good stuff.


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